Home Leave

I always thought that I will never be home sick as I'm so used to being away from home and being independent. This home leave that lasted 10 days gave me a taste of what I have thought I would not mind giving up. It was so awesome that words cannot describe what I felt past 10 days.

First is the people I've met, new friends, family and you! thanks for being so awesome that you guys reminded me what is the fuss about being home. Thanks for being there for me when I was at my worst! I feel awesome once again!

Second is the good food and laughter that comes along. Never thought that eating could be this fun! All the food taste better with laughter! Malaysia is truly a food paradise and I'm proud to be a Malaysian!

Third is the alcohol and the parties that I had! Holy shit! From super duper hyped to drunk to hangover the next day basically 50% of my break? I got a problem, I'm an party animal! Best part is my awesome newly met bunch is planning for rave soon even before this break is over!

You messed up my life but I think my life would be fucked up without you around. All these while I'm still waiting for you, hoping for a miracle to happen, wishing my prayers answered by whoever that is up there. I keep counting down the days we meet again and wished that we could have more moments together, always. I'll really miss you like crazy!

Marriage

Attended a close friend's wedding recently and realized that I want something like that too.

The promise of eternal love is not really realistic but perhaps, live one lifetime together as best as you could with her would be a better promise.

I really hope that I could find the one that I could really love to bits. I just can't seem to find someone to cherish my love.

I've seen so many couples that I seldom see one without the other amongst my friends, would I ever meet you? or are you around me that I am too blind to see?

Fate might be playing a very bad joke on me.

One for the world to see and another for the ones closest to your heart

I have two faces, one for the world to see and another for those closest to my heart.  I will always get into a relationship when I am ready because I believe that if I really love you enough, I should give my best in loving you.

Nothing else is sufficient than the best of me. So even if I love you enough but I'm not ready to be in a relationship, I'll get myself ready, as I always believed, what is meant to be will be, if our paths would cross and align together, our hands and heart would be one.

Even if you gone into loving someone else while I'm recuperating, healing, I will hope that you are happy with your new found love and be happy for you.

A saint I might be, but that's from the bottom of my heart.

Always stay true and stay real!  Good night!

明白所以放手

也许我没跟你说清楚, 我放手的原因并不是因为我放弃, 而是我明白你要的我给不到。

日后如果我真的能做到也已经太迟了。我不可以那么自私的把你占有,让你等让你期待我做不到。

我宁可自己默默的去忍受去度过我人生最差落的一段, 也不要把你带进我的这一段人生低潮。

你原意我也承受不了, 也许这就是我吧? 我并没有刻意的去把你推开, 只是要你给自己更多的选择, 我不是你想像的那么好。

我觉得我到最后应该是自己一个人生活的。所以应该没差吧, 不过还是对不起。

希望你可以找到一个比我好的, 错过你也会是我人生中的其中一个很错的选择, 我不知道,只知道你过得很好就可以了。

Memories

There will always be someone that no matter how or what you do, you just can't seem to get that someone out of your mind, things you used to do with them long ago, end up being the things that you hate to do now, not because you don't enjoy it, but you don't enjoy the trip down to memory lane. This fucking sucks ! heh!

Possibilities

Your achievements are only limited by your own believe in which as long as you believe that you can do it, you can achieve the impossible.

The possibilities are limitless if you really put your heart and soul to it. If you don't know how to do it, learn from someone who knows, learn how to do it and even just try to do it and learn it along the way while you are failing.

These are parts of my thought and my learning process. People who really knows me will think that I'm overconfident but I'm actually not. I do have my own struggles but why show the worse part of yourself for the world to see?

Why not do your best and hope that you get something from it? when it is my best and vehemently believe that it will turn out good?

I got nothing to lose.