Relationship

I do not know what vibe I emit but then I know what quality I want in my partner, but to be able to choose, I need to have things that I could offer and things that are valuable to my partner too.

My view of relationship is simple, a relationship is a bonus, it adds value to your life and gives you a glimpse of what your future might hold if you have such person in your life with you. If that is a burden, where you are constantly feeling the need to compromise every time and the need to sacrifice all the things that you are doing all these while, that is babysitting. A relationship is like a bonus to your life, you are good when you are alone but you will be better when you are with your partner.

I am no guru in relationship issues but I had my fair share of good and bad relationships. Every time I vow not to make the same mistakes that I did in my past relationships, every time I promise myself to do better in the coming ones and hoping that this would be my last and there will be a happy ending to it as I do my fucking best in every single one of my relationship.

I hope that I could get someone that shares my view in life and walk the never ending road together with me.

I am never mad at my exes for the bad endings, I sincerely hope and wish that they do well in life, I do hope that we learnt something from our journey of life together even if it was for a part of my life. 

to my future partner wherever or whoever you might be,here is a promise, I promise I will make you my priority and never an option. 

lkm: I don't know where I stand, but I hope one day our paths would be one. 

Update

It has been years since I last blogged so bear with me.

On career 

The most significant change in my life was the new company I am with currently, I finally able to have a bit of passion when I work not some mindless drone waking up daily for work that pays the bill but not living the life I thought I could have. The downside is that I am very very far away from home! I miss you guys back home, god this feeling sucks!

On relationship. 

I am currently single. Been through an 8 month long heart wrecking relationship before I decided, I really do not need anymore drama on a daily basis, perhaps I really did grow up and know that what I wanted all these while was some matured relationship. She's a great girl with loads of potential, that I am pretty fucking sure of, hence me trying to guide her along the way hoping that one day my effort would have an effect on her attitude. Attitude is the main bulk of one's character, the way one see and react to the situation is important as there is a saying attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference - Winston Churchill, I believe the quote is from him. I do hope that one day when we meet each other, we would grow into a better person. I might not be the best partner but I do try my very best, sorry that it didn't work out the way we wanted. 

On lifestyle

I am still reading a lot of books, to catch up the lack of reading for the past few months due to some priorities, now that it is over, I guess I have time for more books. Gaming was a big part of my life that I gave up due to priorities, but I guess now my game is investment and income more than PC games but that money game is not as productive as I would like. Occasional liver damaging activities during the weekends, casual drinking during weekdays, the alcoholic in me is still there. Working out once in a while to maintain my body shape is also one thing that I would like to do but lacks the motivation to really make it a habit. 

On mental well being aka note to self

I might be a bit insane talking to myself sometimes but oh well, who reads this? Me!
- Relationship is a bonus, your happiness does not depend only on the other half, you are in charge of your own happiness too. 
- Quick to listen, slow to speak!
- save before spending(mustfuckingdoitadrianhoyoonaun)

Oh well, I guess that is all for today.

Gone were the days where we could just sit down and do nothing and still have food on the table but being an adult has it perks too. You get to be in charge of your life.

Reality Check

33.33% of the year gone, that's fast! Let's do a reality check, of the few new year resolutions I have made, how many I've achieved? None. Brush up Adrian, brush up! Please be good 2014!

Making The Right Choice?

Sometimes making the right choice is never easy. I just did and I it tears me up inside to see you! If I could take it all away I would.

Well, let's just hope your next one won't be a fucked up jerk like me. Perhaps given more choices I would not do so. I do not want to waste your time for something might or might not happen.

Time is the most valuable thing one could give. Thank you so much for the time we spent together. It was memorable and I will cherish it! What is lost would live on in our memories, it might be imperfect but I will treasure it as it would be lost forever without us.

I really appreciate the love you've shown me. I never thought that it could be this imperfectly perfect! Then, life takes over and give me some seriously fucked up situation!

The unconditional love of the family is the best affection one could ever have, without family, I won't be here today. You never lose me, I lost you.

Take care.

p/s: I doubt she would read it, as I'm the jerk who broke her heart.

Life

Any guidebook?

Thoughts Process

I find it hard to arrange my thoughts, maybe I have too much thoughts in process or I am quite fucked up in the head.

Despise what I have become without even realizing it, despicable. That's love all right, but just two different love. The situation is you can have neither, which would you go for? Adrian?

WHAT THE HELL DO I WANT?

Gave myself a goal too high to achieve? Dream too far? Why can't it be simpler, I want A, I work for A, I get A, then I want B, I work for B and I get B too. It's like pursuing two ends of the rope, you pull one side, the other side changes, you pull both sides, nothing changes. DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNN


processing.......

processing.......

processing.......

processing.......

processing.......

processing.......

Damn, after so many hours, still nil.

Really hope that there's a guidebook to everything in life. Fucked up my life badly recently. Really need to gather myself and arrange back my thoughts.

Kinda like disappointed with myself. Career, Relationship, Family, Friends... Even my money doesn't work for me.

processing.......

processing.......

processing.......

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processing.......

processing.......

Sigh. I shall continue this tomorrow.

Work Load n Shit

Sometimes I wish I am not as capable or not as responsible, the amount of workload daily is never ending.

When you are good, people expect you to be better and give you more work. When you hand in your work earlier than expected, next time they will ask you to do it in an even ridiculously short time.

Mind you, I'm just a junior exec attached with the company for less than 2 years and everyone expect me to fly. I might be efficient but when I'm overload, my efficiency decreases!

Wish I could just employ a  I don't give a fuck attitude and do within my limits and not overloading myself with too much work.

Let's see how is my increment this year. I start my work at 7.30am(wakes at 6am to avoid jams) and leave the site after 8pm most of the time. I got no overtime nor extra allowances. If the increment is fucked up, I really don't think I should have worked so hard anymore!

Using my life to change money but in the end I don't get money. Anyway, got into an accident recently and was quite fucked up by that incident, now life is up-fucking-side down, need a new car, means loan, means commitment monthly.

There goes my plan to get my own business early. Setback a few years I guess. Damn!

Anyway, my new car is going to be Honda City 2014 I hope, Honda City! It's damn sexy! But I hope I don't have to wait for 3 months for the car. Else the old technology Toyota Vois! Mum, noooooo T_T my first new car!!!

URGHHHHHHHHHHHH It's hard to be poor hence less choices, else I would have just take a Nissan GTR or a fucking sexy red Ferrari!

Plus point tho, I got into a relationship recently and she's damn mesmerizing and annoying at times, drives me crazy, that crazy bitch but I enjoyed being with her, talking to her is like stabbing myself sometimes but well, let's just see how the future unfolds, gonna be exciting.